Ain't know why...It could be school, it could be all this studying...It could even be my best friends goddamn schedule,that gives her hell and at school she barely talks to me...But it's not. It's some sort of gap deep inside, sth missing. And this abscense makes me feel dead. And it comes to intensify by this little pain in the neck that sits beside me from now on in the classroom. I really felt like hitting him against the wall.I don't hate him,i never do feel hatred, I just feel pity for his abscent-minded,"copy-paste",pervert character,which is a bit upside down because he doesn't really got friends or people that like him...He's just an unimportant part of Heor's coupe-de-etat.
But it's not the disgusting presence of him that stole all my energy,my will to live, even my laughter...It's this constant feeling of loneliness that i tend to somehow have...And i don't really know why! I'm supposed to have everything i wanted or needed,and even more than that... But still...ain't happy! I feel miserable most of the time,and even when i smile, i'm pretending. I'm killing a smile just for the sake of my friends...But i don't seem to be able to handle this. How much will i take for me to give up? Not long,I suppose...
7 months ago